Jay Shingle
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SEATTLE — White guy Joey Kipling started a two week break from consuming any news late last week, citing discomfort,…
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Patrick Coyne
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WILMINGTON, Del. — Genetic scientists have resurrected a dead punk scene using the DNA of an original guitarist preserved in…
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Dom Turek
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GARLAND, Texas — Local woman Kristen Tate practices safe sex by taking her birth control at the exact same time…
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Anthony Robinson
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NEW YORK — Local white woman Rebecca Shulz went viral today after calling The Police a better band than The…
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Kate Howard
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FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. — Quarantined woman Andrea Wolfe admitted today that she prefers Zoom sex sans video with her…
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Jon Dunbar
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MENLO PARK, Calif. — Facebook purged thousands of user accounts belonging to members of right-wing hate groups last week, but…
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Stephen Bell
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MINNEAPOLIS — Popular retailer Target sternly pledged to its employees today that any Coronavirus they are exposed to at their…
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James Knapp
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KALISPELL, Mont. — The Kalispell Police Department was directed by city officials yesterday to sell its Seawolf-class nuclear attack submarine…
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Ryan Harnedy
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WASHINGTON — Republican Party sources claimed today that they are in possession of a potentially damning episode of “Room Raiders”…
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Erin McLaughlin
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WICHITA, Kan. — Local hopeful woman Alex Ginelli spent her free time yesterday attempting to better herself by reading descriptions…
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