Ella Gale
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Californians were warned today to protect themselves by staying both inside and outside, due to the ongoing risks associated with…
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Dan Rice
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AMERICA — An overwhelming majority of rational Americans announced they were suddenly infected with hope, an emotion thought to be…
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Brett McCabe
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OAKLAND, Calif. — Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong awakened from a sleep-filled September to the unbelievable news that President…
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Dan Rice
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My president likes his soldiers “not captured.” Well, I like my presidents “not dead.” And I like Trump, so it’s…
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Tom Peters
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WASHINGTON — President Trump expressed disappointment early Friday morning at being all caught up on his favorite TV shows following…
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Patrick Coyne
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LONDON — The British-born glam rock guitarist who goes by the name “Scazz Slaughter” has almost definitely got “some dumbass…
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Theo Konstantino
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LOS ANGELES — Bored police officer Brady Sullivan decided to beat peaceful protesters advocating for racial justice yesterday while only…
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Andrew Murphy
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SAN JOSE, Calif. — Executives at Neversoft, the developer behind the newly released “Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2,” announced today…
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Erin McLaughlin
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HYANNIS, Mass. — Local man Kenny Gomez was outed as a “fucking liar” on Tuesday evening upon telling a pharmacy…
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Kevin Tit
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LINCOLN, Neb. — Local Black police officer Dante Jackson was rendered unrecognizable to his coworkers within seconds of removing his…
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