Culture Archives - Page 346

Class Traitor Alert: This Guy Just Got Promoted To Assistant Manager Instead of Me

Kyle Sekaquaptewa • November 15, 2020

Well, well, well. Guess who finally turned their back on the working class? We all thought we could trust Sam…

Lynyrd Skynyrd Tribute Band Members Killed in Tragic Flight Simulator Accident

Jonah Nink • November 15, 2020

CLEVELAND — Four members of Cleveland-based Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band That Smell were killed earlier this morning in a tragic…

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man, ready, white wall, bricks, pillow, hair, black, phone, text, call, weirdo, commitment

Realistic Man Ready to Meet That Special Someone to Spend Rest of Year With

Literally A Koala • November 14, 2020

DENVER — Local man Cory McCann is ready to settle down and meet “the one” person he’ll spend the rest…

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yakko, map, colorful, pants, belt, too big, world map, geography, tv show

Yakko Refuses to Acknowledge Israel in Updated Song About Countries

Rob Steinberg • November 14, 2020

HOLLYWOOD — “Animaniacs” star Yakko Warner has refused to acknowledge the existence of Israel in an updated version of the…

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woman, sweater, hair, brunette, white, phone, email, amp, guitar, nervous

Craigslist Transaction Already Off the Rails at First Email Exchange

John Danek • November 14, 2020

DAYTON, Ohio — Local guitarist Max Gordon’s revealed today that her attempt to sell her old guitar amplifier has already…

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red pillow, fancy, weird, rage, poop, bowels, sad, old man, rocker, aging

Aging Rocker Now Only Destroys Hotel Bathroom

Dan Kozuh • November 14, 2020

DETROIT — Aging rocker Perry Dunn, frontman for the seminal hair metal band Töpsy Türvy, left his rented room at…

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old spice, red, can, spray, smell, shampoo, body wash, toothpaste, clean, soap, cool, trendy

Old Spice Releases Shampoo/Body Wash/Toothpaste Combo

Dan Luberto • November 13, 2020

CINCINNATI — Old Spice announced today a new, all-in-one combination shampoo/conditioner/body wash/toothpaste, in their latest attempt to further their lead…

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balloon, girl, hat, vintage filter, artsy, drugs, inhale, high, bored, relax

Punk Relaxes by Cracking Open a Nice, Cold Canister of Nitrous Oxide

E.M. Caris • November 13, 2020

SAN FRANCISCO — Local punk Rachel “Puke Pig” Valentino left an adult bookstore yesterday ready to enjoy a nice, cold…

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prison, jumpsuit, orange, hat, number, cell, bars, cold

Death Row Inmate Really Regrets Not Becoming Cop Before Committing String of Murders

Kevin Tit • November 12, 2020

BATON ROUGE, La. — Convicted murderer and death row inmate Tanner Greene’s biggest regret in life is not becoming a…

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Opinion: This Means That Celebrity Imagine Video Worked

Louie Aronowitz • November 12, 2020

First and foremost, we want to say congratulations President Biden! Well, moreso good riddance Donald Trump but six in one…

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