Sophie Len
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LOS ANGELES — Local punk Zoey Thomas is absolutely outraged today after stranger, Daniel Morgan, accepted her $1 in exchange…
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Stephen Bell
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PRIDE ROCK — Dozens of hyenas still loyal to Scar attempted and ultimately failed to retake Pride Rock in a…
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Noa Garmaise
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AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk announced earlier this week that he will name his next child in the style of…
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John Danek
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KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Smith & Smith Real Estate property photographer Joshua Abernathy regularly receives workplace criticism for his unhelpful…
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Jay Shingle
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CONCORD, N.H. — 32-year-old house sitter Ervin Holt discovered the benefits of a nightly face washing routine last week after…
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Louie Aronowitz
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Sure it’s empowering to act on emotion and rage against the machine, but as you get older, you’ll learn that…
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Dan Kozuh
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Local Guitar Center manager Marcella Doyle was taken aback earlier this week when alternative rock band Everclear…
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GEORGETOWN, Del. — Local man Ben Hartsock resumed his normal business of yelling at skateboarders for trespassing in a parking…
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Ted Pillow
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PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dave Landers received the COVID-19 vaccine on Thursday and is now looking forward to never, ever…
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Zac Lux
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TAMPA, Fla. — Local punk Toni “Skwerm” Malloy was disappointed to find out yesterday that she only budgeted enough for…
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