Patrick Crooks
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ANAHEIM, Calif. — Yesterday’s funeral program for recently deceased Nathan Rivard was the most fun his friends have had since…
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Stephen Bell
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TORONTO — Crust punk Seth Ulrich tragically bled to death yesterday after making the unfortunate decision to floss his teeth…
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Doug Francisco
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ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Every member of Rochester's remaining DIY scene is homeless today following their eviction from the 600 square…
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Ed Saincome
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You bring the stuff? Sweet. These are authentic JNCO jeans, right? The ones from the late '90s?I don't want none…
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Jus Kaplan
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BOSTON — Former drinker Mackenzie Stodd has fully shifted her addictive tendencies by committing all her free time and energy…
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Billy Patterson
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PHILADELPHIA — Local millennial Lauren Toole and her live-in boyfriend Nick McIntyre are making an effort to not argue in…
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John Danek
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HELL — The Devil, legal name Satan, continued the long, bitter litigation with Victory Records founder Tony Brummel today to…
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Rachel Steele
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HOUSTON — Local “hot mess” Terri Garter is confident she found the long-awaited solution to get her life back on…
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Lauren Lavín
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SEATTLE — Chronic back-pain sufferer Delaney Edwards is giving serious thought to the polyamorous lifestyle after realizing it could lead…
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Freelancer
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LUBBOCK, Texas — Local defense attorney Andre Laird is reportedly running out of options today, trying to convince his punk…
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