UNITED STATES — 2021 calendars across the country report that Christmas is only 183 mass shootings away, sources who are…
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Dianne Nora
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NEW YORK — Undecided voter Tom O’Reilly is still not sure if any of his top candidates in the city’s…
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Jovian Gautama
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DENVER — Recently vaccinated McDonald’s line cook Lydia Dupree was relieved to be able to safely add layers of shimmering…
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Nathan Kamal
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ROCKFORD, Ill. — Retail clerk Emma Stephenson finally began to feel a sense of normalcy as an unreasonably irate customer…
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Josh Klasco
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DETROIT — Automobile manufacturers across the country hoping to stem the tide of climate change pledged to go 100% electric…
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James Knapp
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LOS ANGELES — Recently vaccinated man Albert Kalomatsos posted his out-of-focus vaccine selfie weeks too late for it to even…
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Progressive metal band Knight Vision announced they are accepting applications from medieval studies majors for a summer…
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Nathan Kamal
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HOUSTON — Famed environmental superhero and holographic android Captain Planet announced he would be accepting a position as a paid…
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CINCINNATI — The comments section on a Facebook post about treatments for anxiety and depression caused by the solitude and…
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Heather Cook
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NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local woman and dedicated shower pisser Esme Hill reportedly held her urine in longer than usual…
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