Stephen Bell
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SAN DIEGO — Local socially conscious man Aaron Mayfield is pretty sure that all his self loathing, flagellation, and deprecation…
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Jerrod Kingery
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COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out…
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Dustin Meadows
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WINNIPEG, Manitoba — Canadian classic rock band Bachman-Turner Overdrive announced around the crack of noon that they will not be…
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James Knapp
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WASHINGTON, D.C — The Supreme Court of the United States recently decided, after allowing a law banning all abortions after…
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Richard Circuit
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AUSTIN, Texas — Republican lawmakers in Texas finally passed a controversial voter suppression bill along party lines which is set…
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Jay Wells L'Ecuyer
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WASHINGTON — President Biden announced a rebranding of the “Middle East Peace Process” to “The War On War” in hopes…
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Nathan Kamal
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SEATTLE — Amazon Prime Air UAV Drone #434001 was written up by its supervisor for taking a three minute refueling…
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Ryan Danley
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OMAHA, Neb. — Citizens across the country are coping with record breaking heat and wondering why there has been seemingly…
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Freelancer
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PORTLAND — Ardent leftist and Socialist Rifle Association member Jamie Stoltz was hospitalized after severely damaging her tongue by biting…
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Tiana Miller
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WESTBURY, N.Y. — Multiple despondent mourners confirmed that local punk “Fast” Eddie Gwan recently saved thousands if not more in…
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