Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

May 22, 2019

PORTLAND, Maine. — Music fan Trevor Eastman’s Pandora account is still reeling from the painful, ear-wrenching effects of giving a…

May 21, 2019

TORRANCE, Calif. — Avid ska fans and recently married couple Judy Gillespie and Leonard Roth capped off their wedding celebration…

May 20, 2019

NEW YORK — Fast food chain White Castle held a plaque dedication ceremony this morning commemorating the 30 mini-burger order…

May 18, 2019

MINNEAPOLIS — Guitarist Bradley Eflin claimed last night that he was “going out for smokes” before allegedly abandoning his band…

May 14, 2019

BOSTON — Popular fantasy author Rick Riordan announced via Twitter today that his character Percy Jackson is a pansexual fuck…

May 9, 2019

What can we do to be truly, wholy “happy?” In my long, arduous 22-year existence, I have found that these…

May 4, 2019

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Local zine Weedkiller published their annual list this morning of the hunkiest, most eligible bachelors of Charlotte’s…

May 3, 2019

Even though it ended in 2013 The Office is more popular than ever thanks to its enduring, relatable characters. The…

April 30, 2019

NEW YORK — Famed film auteur Wes Anderson unceremoniously announced today that his next movie would be about “a sad…

April 24, 2019

ORLANDO, Fla. — Metalhead Brad Fetterman spent several hours yesterday sewing the sleeves back on to his finest Dying Fetus…

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