ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Chronically unemployed man and frequent HPV spreader Danny Feldman is completely unaware that his last three girlfriends…
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CHERRY HILL, N.J. — Graphic designer Mike Mingus is facing a crisis of conscience today, after a chance encounter between…
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ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. — 21-year-old Marcy McDaniels voluntarily lied about her age last night to get backstage at a show…
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CARBONDALE, Ill. — Local punk Steve Friedmann is preparing himself for winter by installing heavy-duty, stainless steel snow chains on…
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CINCINNATI — 30-year-old Dylan Barker was shocked to learn he was the father of an 18-year-old chatbot, the result of…
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Pere Noel. Kris Kringle. The Winter Easter Bunny. For centuries, children have lined up to meet Santa Claus and ask…
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LOS ANGELES — Sports-themed dance music mix Jock Jams apologized to the seminal punk rock series Punk-O-Rama yesterday for relentless…
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PHILADELPHIA — Fans of indie-rock band To Jupiter were disappointed and disillusioned last night when a stripped-down, acoustic version of…
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Senior VICE editor Archie Jenkins sprinted from his office in Williamsburg yesterday after remembering he coerced a…
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Jonathan, I want you to know that I love your mother very much. And although I tried to eat your…
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