Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

July 7, 2018

ATLANTA — UberPOOL driver Christian Domingo was blindsided Thursday when he unwittingly became the driver for the last leg of…

July 4, 2018

BALTIMORE — Barbecue attendee James Duffy was disappointed to learn this afternoon that vegan host Terry Russo provided meat options…

June 21, 2018

Prick up your Commie ears, Libtards! Because I’m only going to say this once. I REFUSE to apologize for being…

June 14, 2018

BOSTON — Time traveler and anti-robot resistance leader Trent Mendez, sent from the future to warn humanity about an impending…

June 4, 2018

SALT LAKE CITY — All six patrons and two clerks in Salt Lake City’s Moonshot Comics Emporium reported they were…

May 29, 2018

CINCINNATI — 32-year-old claims adjuster Aaron Madson spent the past week listening to classic nü-metal alone in his car “as…

May 18, 2018

Oh Jiminy Christmas, I goofed up. Fellas, this one is on me. Well, maybe it’s not really my fault. Kind…

May 7, 2018

Prom season is here and you know what that means: A-list pop stars like Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, and Rihanna…

May 6, 2018

Have you guys heard of this ACLU? Because apparently they’re like OBSESSED with me! I signed up for their e-newsletter…

April 29, 2018

LOS ANGELES — Flaming Lips lead singer Wayne Coyne has severely weakened his immune system due to too much time…