Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

July 2, 2019

ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — Teenage punk and C+ student Geoff Berger was given a second yearbook photo this week to…

July 2, 2019

By 1969, the Chipmunks had hit a creative and commercial brick wall, with the public seemingly sick of rodent-based novelty…

July 1, 2019

MISSOULA, Mont. — Real-deal, bloodsucking vampire Count Adhemar Chauve-Souris was vehemently dismissed as a poser today by mall goths he…

July 1, 2019

LODI, N.J. — A group of neighborhood kids scattered and hid for the rest of the afternoon yesterday after their…

June 29, 2019

LUBBOCK, Texas — Aging punk and amateur life coach Robbie Ginsburg was charged today with criminal negligence after authorities discovered…

June 28, 2019

MESA, Ariz. — Local man Jeffrey Woodward is running out of good sides of his mouth to chew with, thanks…

June 20, 2019

CINCINNATI — Advertising account rep Danny Quintana has been forever saddled with the nickname “Nickelback” after admitting to coworkers 15…

June 16, 2019

BOSTON — Local dad and tire store manager Dennis Bowman broke his nearly three-year social media silence today by posting,…

June 16, 2019

WARRINGTON, Pa. — Local man Bryan Walsh is terrified and “jumping to insane conclusions” this morning after his father, commercial…

June 13, 2019

[Ed note: Leaving the Iggy Pop obit in the draft folder. Great idea to get this written up ahead of…