BELLINGHAM, Wash. — Longtime members of legendary drone-metal band Earth are reportedly annoyed by a recent performance that was perpetually interrupted by the narration of…
STERLING, Va. — Well-meaning local mother Marla-Sue Crenna reportedly left a record-breaking lull in the story she was in the middle of telling as she…
CHAGRIN FALLS, Ohio — Leftist senior citizen Cyrus Novak is reportedly under round-the-clock duress from continuously having to make sure John Fogerty is not somehow…
MUNCIE, Ind. — A group of Dickensian-garbed Father’s Day carolers were reportedly seen going door-to-door singing particularly beautiful covers of Thin Lizzy songs in honor…
WARWICK, R.I. — Local alt-rock vocalist Philip Lincoln was reportedly hospitalized from sheer embarrassment shortly after listening to his own isolated vocal track, sources who…
OCEANVIEW, Ill. — Local sixth-grade do-gooder Richie Amweather reportedly risked his own well-being at last night’s hardcore show in order to help a geriatric woman…
As much fun as it was for me rank all these albums, I was skeptical at what an SEO nightmare it was going to be…
Perhaps known just as much for pioneering the “loud-quiet-loud” song structure as they are for being cool to Nirvana for jacking that exact style and…
MARSHFIELD, Mass. — The mic stand used by rock legends Aerosmith is reportedly fed up with perpetually having to wear a tie and cannot wait…
HONESDALE, Pa. — The drummer of melodic hardcore band Goofus Eats Gallant was reportedly chafed when his philistine bandmates barbarically chatted as he diligently practiced…
BEACON, N.Y. — Local guitarist Heff Kelsey was baffled after discovering the piece of music he was playing reportedly required a chord so difficult that…
Today the Hard Times listens to the third and latest full-length of New York City’s own Hank Wood and the Hammerheads. This self-titled release, like…
NEEDLES, Calif. — Frequent patrons of local watering hole The Running Refrigerator are reportedly befuddled over realizing the bar’s ever-playing jukebox solely contains tracks of…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Perpetual “lost cause” Kip “The Drip” Dellaher miraculously passed his science and history exams today after simply attending last night’s They Might…
PONTIAC, Mich. — Several local college seniors impressed guests by enhancing their party’s epicness with the presence of a barnyard animal in their house, thoroughly…