Woman Just Gonna Hold It in a Little Longer so She Can Pee in the Shower
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local woman and dedicated shower pisser Esme Hill reportedly held her urine in longer than usual…
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Heather Cook — Page 3
39 stories found
Emo Singer Begs Girlfriend to Dump Him Over Voicemail so He Can Use Message as Sample
TAMPA, Fla. – Local emo singer Dacian Miron was seen in a Chipotle parking lot pathetically begging his girlfriend to…
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How Roger Rabbit Set the Unrealistic Expectation I’d Score Bodacious Babes During My Bow Tie Phase
How could a floppy-eared simp like Roger Rabbit ever score a babe as iconic and sexy as Jessica Rabbit? This…
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Tearfully Screaming Chorus of Bright Eyes Song Interrupted by GPS
LAUREL, Md. — Local emotional person Cara Lucas was interrupted while crying and shouting along to the chorus of Bright…
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Top 5 Songs You Were Excited To Show Your Boyfriend Until He Kept Talking During Them
A relationship is a lot like a mixtape. You put a ton of time and effort into making something wonderful…
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28-Year-Old Just Getting Into Skateboarding Highly Overestimating Its Sex Appeal
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local failure Max Kugler was reportedly sighted practicing his ollies at the Haledon Skate Park on…
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Extra Precautious: Michael Myers Still Triple-Masking Even After Receiving Pfizer Vaccine
HADDONFIELD, Ill. — Serial killer and supernatural force of pure evil Michael Myers insists upon wearing three layers of face…
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Friend Always Saying “This Too Shall Pass” Clearly Never Been Dumped in Denny’s Parking Lot
LANGHORNE, Pa. — Local clueless friend Jordan Schmidt overlooked the lifelong trauma of being dumped in the smelly black hole…
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Runner on Midnight Jog in Midwest Town with No Streetlights Picked Wrong Time to Start Listening to “My Favorite Murder”
JACKTOWN, Mich. – Local runner Mason Clement became increasingly fearful for their safety last night while listening to the podcast…
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We Rank the Worst Unsolicited Advice This Sound Guy Only Gives To Women
This sound guy can never resist giving unsolicited advice to impressive women who intimidate him with their talent. You never…
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