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Girlboss? This Bad Bitch Finished a Whole Tube of Chapstick Without Losing It

We stan a queen that can achieve the impossible. A bad bitch who can pull off a miracle. A girlboss who can accomplish the Herculean task of making it through an entire tube of ChapStick without losing it.

Sure, this 27-year-old may not know how to open a bank account and she doesn’t “do technology,” but she finally saw the end of her cherry lip balm without losing it. This bonafide girlboss who can keep her lips moisturized for longer than two weeks without having to re-stock is in a league of legends on par with Frida Kahlo and Betty White.

She used to be like us regular people until she demonstrated perseverance within her that we will never be able to recreate. Like Excaliber being pulled from that rock or whatever, this girl was dubbed girlboss upon pulling that chapstick out of her clutch only to discover that it was empty.

It wasn’t easy to get here. On darker days, she would find herself making yet another midnight run to CVS to get her fix of Lip Smackers. When money was tight, she’d be on all fours searching under her dresser, screaming conspiracies about disappearing lip balm. Friends became alarmed whenever she brought up how Burt’s Bees was an inside job.

But now? This future CEO has cracked the ChapStick code and is about to gradually unswivel the glass ceiling!

If she can remember to keep her ChapStick in a designated spot in her car’s center console, then what can’t this femme warrior do? Will she be able to figure out why one of her socks always disappears whenever she does laundry? Will she finally learn how to hang a picture frame? There’s no telling how bright her future will be, but one thing is for certain, this girlboss is going places and she won’t have to borrow shit if she has dry lips when she gets there.