Our tour van broke down in one of that small town full of secrets/Twin Peaksy type places. We had to wait till morning for our…
People of this bank listen up, ’cause I got something to say. The state of the world is chaotic right now. We’re all facing a…
It’s a bittersweet feeling to realize you’ve peaked, but at least when I look back up at my personal zenith I can honestly say, “not…
Ever since I discovered BDSM Tumblr as a youth, I have dreamt of dying at the hands of horned-up sadistic hellspawn. I dedicated my life…
Well, boil, boil, toil, and NOT SO MUCH TROUBLE apparently. Ever since I was introduced to the tale of Hansel and Gretel as a child…
Who could forget the sultry trip-hop of Portishead? The answer is me, and most men under the age of 30, but it’s time to change…
Salutations and tip of my cap, officers of the Sunnybay Police Department. You don’t know me, not yet, but you are familiar with my work.…
Whether you’re a parent trying to educate your children, a nostalgic ‘90s kid, or just an idiot who still needs basic science explained to you,…
I know this isn’t a popular thing to say nowadays, but not all cops. Sure, some deplorable behavior has come to light in recent years,…
David Sedaris is one of the most beloved and universally appreciated writers of our time. His sharp wit, powers of observation and dark humor-meets-heart approach…
Which of these is the bigger crime: Literally just walking into a building, or murdering babies to drink their blood in a satanic ritual that…
Marijuana use is on the rise, and while it’s completely harmless and fun for you to consume, to a child with a still developing mind,…
It’s been said that life imitates art, but from where I’m standing, it never learns from it. Here you are, reading this article on the…
It’s no secret that the right moniker can make or break an aspiring musician. Eric Clapton used to be a nobody, but one day they…