5 Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s That I Would’ve Definitely Ignored in My 20s
Your 20s are hands down the most difficult decade of your life. I would know as someone who just turned…
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Bobby Korec — Page 30
329 stories found
Metalhead Asks CDC Hotline What to Cough Into If They’ve “Hypothetically” Cut off Their Sleeves
LOS ANGELES — Local metalhead Layne Medema spoke with a representative from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention hotline…
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Man Arrested After Yelling “Arcade Fire” in Crowded Theater
DENVER — Local police apprehended miscreant Max Yelban last night for mischievously shouting “Arcade Fire” in a crowded theater and…
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Failed New Year’s Resolution Repurposed for Lent
OKLAHOMA CITY — Local punk Gary Trentson is recycling his New Year’s resolution for Lent this year after failing miserably…
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DNC Begs “Bernie Bros” to Please Stop Inciting Enthusiasm Into Democratic Party
WASHINGTON — The Democratic National Committee released a public statement today, imploring Bernie Sanders supporters, pejoratively referred to as “Bernie…
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Opinion: If Trump Loses the Election I’m Moving to Russia
Mark my words. If Donald Trump loses the 2020 presidential election I am moving to the only other place that…
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How I Got Six-Pack Abs Through Hard Work and Mostly Being 22-Years-Old
Abs: Everyone wants them. No one’s got them. Except yours truly. In today’s world, there just aren’t many people willing…
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Lead Singer Sitting Back as Rest of Bandmates Help Him Move to New Apartment
CINCINNATI — Local singer Troy Nickelson of shoegaze band Neon Leggings sat back and watched yesterday as his bandmates moved…
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Inclusive Frat Guy Draws Both Penises and Vaginas on Passed Out Freshmen
LOS ANGELES — Inclusive frat guy Dylan Sargosta bravely drew both vaginas and penises on passed out freshmen during Friday…
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Man Not Voting in 2020 Determined to Prove Unclear Point
HOUSTON — Registered Libertarian Dale Kramerson announced today that he will not be voting in the 2020 presidential election as…
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