5 Animals We Think Crash Bandicoot Might Be October 18, 2020 Your typical video game mascot will tell you right away in their name if they are an animal. For starters,… Read More →
Edge Day Falling on Saturday This Year Makes No Difference to Straight Edge Guy October 17, 2020 BOSTON — Local straight edger Pete Westpan is generally apathetic about National Edge Day falling on a Saturday this year,… Read More →
3 Drawbacks To Alcohol and 1 Sweet, Sweet Benefit That Might Outweigh Them All October 15, 2020 As we’ve all learned first hand from our uncles at any family function, alcohol can have a devastating effect on… Read More →
Opinion: You’re Either a Cat Person or a Dog Person or a Normal Fucking Person Who Likes Both October 8, 2020 Time to take a fucking stand, people. You are either a dog person: loyal, social, and agreeable. Or you are… Read More →
5 Plausible Theories for Why That Other Guy in ZZ Top Doesn’t Just Grow a Beard Already October 7, 2020 ZZ Top are well known for their slew of hits that my uncle listens to when checking out Harley Davidson… Read More →
Emo English Teacher Reminds Class That It’s “Cute Without the E, Except After C” October 3, 2020 HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. — Self-described “emo kid” and 40-year-old elementary school teacher Tucker Grating reminded his class today that when spelling… Read More →
5 Gender Reveal Party Ideas That’ll Make You Say “Shit! Someone Call 911!” September 23, 2020 A gender reveal party is an excellent way to make it known that you are expecting newborn attention online. Look… Read More →
The Definitive List of Animals We Think Trent Reznor Wants To Fuck You Like September 21, 2020 Journalism is all about specificity. So when it came time to analyze Nine Inch Nails’ '90s love anthem “Closer,” we… Read More →
We Sat Down With Legendary Social Media Influencers Depression and Anxiety September 20, 2020 It’s not every day you get to interview a pair of infamous social media influencers. Recently, we sat down with… Read More →
Blues Traveler Inducted Into “Band You’re Probably Gonna Hear at Walgreens” Hall of Fame September 20, 2020 PRINCETON, N.J. — Legendary drugstore playlist rock outfit Blues Traveler were inducted into the “Band You’re Probably Gonna Hear at… Read More →