January 2020 - Page 12 of 21

Kevin Flynn • January 15, 2020

SANTA ROSA, Calif. — Sadly leaving all of the service’s customers unavailable to access the popular massively multiplayer online game…

James Knapp • January 15, 2020

ERIE, Penn. — Local punk Jackson McCreedy is thought to be “rolling in dough” today, as his old Asian Man…

Tom Peters • January 15, 2020

Looking out at the marina, my only thought between swigs of Pepto Bismol and Jim Beam cocktails is “what the…

Krissy Howard • January 15, 2020

PFLUGERVILLE, Texas — Local woman Shelby Cardenas handled a semi-regular 2 a.m. scroll through her ex-girlfriend Melissa Hannan’s Instagram page…

Bobby D. Lux • January 15, 2020

In my current search for employment I see job postings seeking a “Rockstar Candidate” every day. At first I thought…

Owen Crowlie • January 15, 2020

WASHINGTON — Scientifically confirming a correlation that has been speculated for decades, a recent study by the Pew Research Center…

The Hard Times Staff • January 15, 2020

POMONA, Calif. — Aging punk Kelvin Obera hired a no-nonsense private investigator last week, trying to determine the exact time…

Patrick Coyne • January 14, 2020

DES MOINES, Iowa — Former Vice President Joe Biden requested moments ago to perform a “physical challenge” in lieu of…

Jordan Breeding • January 14, 2020

LOS ANGELES — Actor Kumail Nanjiani took to the internet recently to show off his new muscle-bound physique and talk…

Kevin Tit • January 14, 2020

SAN FRANCISCO — ConAgra Foods announced today a plan to reissue the legendary 1997 Hickey/Voodoo Glow Skulls split 7” as…

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