Ben Friedman
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EDINA, Minn. — 37-year-old man Steve Bellows opted for chicken fingers for his seventh consecutive dinner outing despite having poured…
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Krissy Howard
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TOPEKA, Kan. — A nine-month-old bedbug currently residing in local punk house and objectively disgusting place, 321, is reportedly at…
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Antonio Cruise
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AKRON, Ohio — Local man Dennis Bennet hurried home after filming an entire three-and-a-half-hour punk show at the Grog Shop…
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Chris Bowen
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QUEBEC — Local scofflaw Donald Ross was seen spanking it outside of Fantasy World, which clearly has a designated area…
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Dan Kozuh
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BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local twenty-something Jeremy Harris was overheard repeating the common trope that he was ‘born in the wrong…
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Bobby Korec
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OAKLAND, Calif. — Local photographer Tyler Pettiston suggested that ska band Passive SKAggression maybe try a serious one after hours…
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BOSTON — Local man Chet Deacon began the conversation on a first day with Alyssa Marco by apologizing for “the…
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Billy Patterson
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ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local man Greg Fitzwater began scrolling through his targeted ads to try to piece together what happened…
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Jonah Nink
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CARBONDALE, Ill. — Area woman Meg Sebastian conceded that she would “check out Primus” in a desperate bid to end…
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Marie Cartier
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OAKLAND, Calif. — Nick Takanaka, the resident lighting technician at The Corner, is reportedly nearing his breaking point after being…
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