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Man Who Filmed Entire Show With His Phone Rushes Home To Watch It Afterward

AKRON, Ohio — Local man Dennis Bennet hurried home after filming an entire three-and-a-half-hour punk show at the Grog Shop in Cleveland on Saturday night to rewatch all the bands, sources who have no interest in watching the choppy, blurry video confirmed.

“I was almost late to record the opener because I was doing my pre-show arm raising exercises in the parking lot. And then after I got in I realized my iCloud was just about full. Luckily I was able to quickly delete a two-hour video of my son’s T-ball practice to free up some space on my phone,” explained Bennet. “During the show, all I could think about was getting home and editing my footage on iMovie. Adding comic sans titles and page-turning transitions give it a real polished look. When it’s all done and posted to Youtube I like to screen it on my projector and blast my surround sound system. It really creates an immersive experience.”

Fellow show attendee, Brandon Parsons, reported seeing Bennet in the middle of a pit trying to get the best angles.

“His stamina was actually pretty impressive. At one point I saw his arm starting to tremble a little bit but he found a way to power through it,” Parsons stated. “There definitely was an unspoken agreement with everyone moshing that he was to be left alone to pursue his art. He seemed to be really focused on his task, and honestly, two-stepping around him wasn’t a big deal at all. You know, now that I think about it, the only time I saw him move around was when he pulled a portable battery pack from his pocket to charge his phone.”

Former Behavioral Psychologist, Kimberly Jenkins, noted that this type of behavior is becoming increasingly more common.

“This can be categorized as a variant of obsessive-compulsive disorder known as Hoarding Disorder. This often involves objects, but he can feel a need to hoard memories as well. So instead of cat-murdering piles of newspapers, he hoards these sad, shaky videos of poorly lit punk bands”, explained Jenkins. “If he doesn’t get the professional help he needs he could spiral. I’ve seen cases where people record adults singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to other adults. How fucked up is that?”

At press time, Bennet was seen carefully choreographing a low-angle shot at his grandma’s funeral.

Photo by Newman Wolf.