WASHINGTON — President Trump ironically announced earlier this week that he would be a “law and order” president, despite a lengthy history of criminality, sources…
In the ’80s, American Neo-Nazis targetted the hardcore punk scene for recruitment. Why they thought they’d find success among a group of angry and disenfranchised…
LOS ANGELES — Following days of demonstration in the streets, Los Angeles mayor Eric Garcetti instituted a curfew for 30 minutes ago, effective immediately, multiple…
WASHINGTON — President Trump’s experimental use of the anti-malarial drug Hydroxychloroquine has transformed the Commander-in-Chief from a boorish, morbidly obese, whiny turd into the suave…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Religious supporters of President Trump were confused and apprehensive yesterday when he invited an executive from popular sex toy company Adam &…
Given that we’ve been in some sort of recession or another ever since I’ve been old enough to know the word “republican,” it’s time we…
NEW YORK — The cast of “Sesame Street” joined the country’s leading scientists and health experts this weekend in a special episode that explains the…
Our country is teetering on the brink of oblivion. Governments are looking to dismantle our very way of life and revoke our rights from under…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recommended Americans inject hit 2004 anime Bleach into their veins in order to prevent the spread of COVID-19, according to…
WASHINGTON — President Trump showcased his overflowing Easter basket earlier today after outperforming “low IQ” children during the annual Easter egg hunt on the White…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders announced today that he will put all of his unsold merchandise for sale on his Bandcamp following his…
WASHINGTON — The U.S. Department of Commerce issued a concerning report this morning, finding that 78% of American corporations are barely scraping by and living…
WASHINGTON — In order to streamline distribution, sources are reporting that Universal Basic Income will be distributed to Americans via a daily login bonus on…
WASHINGTON — President Trump has announced plans to unleash a giant squid on each of the major cities in the United States in an effort…
Between the pandemic, the quarantine, and now shutting down the border, you guys may never meet my girlfriend. It stinks too because even though she…