SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Die-hard calendar enthusiast John Beltran hoped the thin, square present under the Christmas Tree at his parent’s house isn’t actually a lame,…
HARRISBURG, Pa. — Fans of black metal stalwarts Bloodfrost became disenchanted with the supposedly Satanic quartet when it was recently discovered the band’s latest publicity…
CHICAGO – A local cat known as Pudding saved an officer of the Chicago Police Department that ran up a very tall tree and got…
GARY, Ind. — Cass Pollard was shocked this Christmas to discover that their partner’s family apparently opens Christmas presents stone-cold sober the entire time, sources…
EUREKA, Calif. — A squirrel rapidly burying nuts in the ground in preparation for the winter is now better prepared for retirement than one local…
BOCA RATON, Fla. — Local crust punk Johnny “Eight Fingers” Arnold awoke late Saturday afternoon to discover he had accidentally saved a park from demolition…
A soon-to-be-hospitalized Kansas City native on his first winter sports outing has announced that “this snowboarding shit is basically just skateboarding” in a mountaintop press…
DETROIT — Local goth teen Shelly Davis announced plans to ruin her family’s Christmas card for the third year in a row, according to a…