ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Brad Harris, a first time house show promoter, triple checked to make sure the only toilet at his debut DIY gig was…
NASHVILLE — Local woman and occasional defecator Ingrid Fowler was shocked and alarmed to discover her boyfriend’s bathroom had just a few flimsy strands of…
No economist could have predicted the year toilet paper had in 2020. There were weeks-long stretches when shelves were completely empty. But did you know…
CHICAGO — Local woman Lilly Choi’s depression has devolved to the point that she has stopped looking behind the shower curtain for murderers before going…
NEW YORK — Quarantined high school bully Evan Maddox, under stay-at-home orders for the past three weeks, gave himself swirlies yesterday out of desperation, amused…
LINCOLN, Neb. — After being laid off from his job at a regional cardboard box supply company last week, local gamer Dale Lowry has reportedly…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The only working toilet in local punk house The Mooseknuckle is simply a litter box following a breakdown in plumbing weeks ago,…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local showgoer Alex Andrade ventured off to the restroom last night in hopes of finding a toilet seat that “felt just right,…
NEW YORK — The hosts of “Fox & Friends” demonstrated how drinking out of a toilet was “completely normal” on this morning’s broadcast of their…
OLEAN, N.Y. — Musicians and patrons at local punk venue The Delmonico Prison report the building’s only functioning toilet is unfortunately located on stage, in…
INDIO, CA – As summer 2016 rapidly approaches, sources reported that a weary and exhausted Port-O-Potty is terrified at having to face yet another season…
EL PASO, Texas — Declaring their staunch opposition to “corporate ass-wipes”, local punkhouse The Stargate has banned all toilet paper and will now be using…