Jimmy Adamson
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CHICAGO — Local woman Lilly Choi’s depression has devolved to the point that she has stopped looking behind the shower…
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Doug Francisco
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NEW YORK — Quarantined high school bully Evan Maddox, under stay-at-home orders for the past three weeks, gave himself swirlies…
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Andy Holt
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LINCOLN, Neb. — After being laid off from his job at a regional cardboard box supply company last week, local…
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Zac Lux
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ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The only working toilet in local punk house The Mooseknuckle is simply a litter box following a…
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Dom Turek
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ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local showgoer Alex Andrade ventured off to the restroom last night in hopes of finding a toilet…
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Mark Roebuck
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NEW YORK — The hosts of "Fox & Friends" demonstrated how drinking out of a toilet was “completely normal” on…
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Kip Doyle
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OLEAN, N.Y. — Musicians and patrons at local punk venue The Delmonico Prison report the building’s only functioning toilet is…
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INDIO, CA – As summer 2016 rapidly approaches, sources reported that a weary and exhausted Port-O-Potty is terrified at having…
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EL PASO, Texas -- Declaring their staunch opposition to “corporate ass-wipes”, local punkhouse The Stargate has banned all toilet paper…
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