SAN FERNANDO, Calif. — A new report from the Federal Reserve Bank of Los Angeles showed that unprecedented inflation is forcing adult entertainers to have…
ST. LOUIS — Diehard Tool fan Glenn “Stinkfist” Miranda missed the band’s entire set after a brief display of martial arts resulted in him getting…
BOSTON — Local woman Ava Rivera experienced what she believed to be a breakthrough last week after suffering her first panic attack about something realistically…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local twenty-something Jeremy Harris was overheard repeating the common trope that he was ‘born in the wrong decade’ without realizing he would…
CAMP HILL, Penn. — Suburban couple George and Esme Albertson discretely removed their sweatshop-grade cardboard yard sign, which professed unwavering support for people of all…
PUEBLO, Colo. — A local man’s plan to introduce his childhood best friend of over 20 years to his adult best friend for the past…
CHICAGO — Morrissey revealed that he’s waiting for a few more people to show up to the Riviera Theatre before ultimately canceling the gig entirely,…
FANWOOD, N.J. — Self-described punk kid Scott “Snotski” Tamaro turned 50 this week, shocking both friends and family yet again with his inability to use…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local photographer Tyler Pettiston suggested that ska band Passive SKAggression maybe try a serious one after hours of silly poses and cartoonish…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local musician, show promoter, and all-around glue that holds the scene together Robby Baxter announced the debut of a new band that…
PORTLAND, Ore. — The sudden decrease in social media activity of a prolific vaccine disinformation propagator Jason Cooley is leading friends and acquaintances to believe…
MAUI, Hawaii — A humpback whale off the coast of Maui found the musical offerings overheard from noise-rock-themed ‘Sonic Cruise’ to be lacking in originality,…
LOS ANGELES — Literary agent and frequent binge drinker Lana Delano has no idea that despite her protests, California’s statewide 2 a.m. last call is…
WASHINGTON — The Straight Edge Supreme Court will hear arguments this week in the case of Lewis v. Monster Energy which could overturn the landmark…
LOS ANGELES — The recently-released porn parody of edgy and controversial teen drama “Euphoria,” titled “Screw-phoria,” is stirring controversy for being “lame” and “weirdly wholesome”…