Stupid Tag Archives - Page 4

“She’s The Nancy to My Sid,” Says Bassist Who, Hopefully, Has No Idea What He Is Talking About

Alexandra Johnson • March 14, 2022

PHOENIX, Ariz. — Local bassist and film studies drop-out Will Levey reportedly refers to his new love interest, Allison Alonzo,…

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Nickelodeon Executives Still Use Old Legends of the Hidden Temple Set for Ritual Sacrifices

David Arriaga • March 13, 2022

ORLANDO, Fla. — An alarming new report revealed that Nickelodeon executives have been using the set of ‘90s game show…

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Rising Inflation Causes Average Porn Star to Have Sex Four or Five Times to Pay for Pizza

Camden Brazile • March 12, 2022

SAN FERNANDO, Calif. — A new report from the Federal Reserve Bank of Los Angeles showed that unprecedented inflation is…

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Tool Fan Misses Entire Set Untangling Ponytail from Nunchucks

Ted Pillow • March 12, 2022

ST. LOUIS — Diehard Tool fan Glenn “Stinkfist” Miranda missed the band’s entire set after a brief display of martial…

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Breakthrough: Panic Attack About Something Real This Time

Matt McInerney • March 8, 2022

BOSTON — Local woman Ava Rivera experienced what she believed to be a breakthrough last week after suffering her first…

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Man Who Says He Was Born in the Wrong Decade Would Have Also Been a Loser in the 70s

Dan Kozuh • March 7, 2022

BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local twenty-something Jeremy Harris was overheard repeating the common trope that he was ‘born in the wrong…

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White Liberals Quietly Take Down Yard Sign For Tax Season

James Knapp • March 6, 2022

CAMP HILL, Penn. — Suburban couple George and Esme Albertson discretely removed their sweatshop-grade cardboard yard sign, which professed unwavering…

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Man’s Childhood Best Friend and Adult Best Friend Absolutely Fucking Hate Each Other

The Hard Times Staff • March 5, 2022

PUEBLO, Colo. — A local man’s plan to introduce his childhood best friend of over 20 years to his adult…

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Morrissey Waiting For a Few More People to Show Up Before Cancelling Gig

Bobby Korec • March 5, 2022

CHICAGO — Morrissey revealed that he’s waiting for a few more people to show up to the Riviera Theatre before…

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Punk Kid Turns 50

Mike Civins • March 3, 2022

FANWOOD, N.J. — Self-described punk kid Scott “Snotski” Tamaro turned 50 this week, shocking both friends and family yet again…

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