MOAB, Utah — Local woman and alleged 10-year “social smoker” Keria Morley has virtually no known social life outside of walking her neighbor’s dog occasionally,…
SAN FRANCISCO — With only a week left before their deadline, a group of stressed, chain-smoking developers of the new BioShock are holed up in…
REVERE, Mass. — Misguided 43-year-old street punk Martin “Peanut” Landers announced today that he will be upping his cigarette intake to help himself lose 15…
FAIRFAX, Va. — Known procrastinator Dave Lowary has started smoking cigarettes in an apparent attempt to end his life, concerned friends and relatives confirmed. “I’ve…
PHILADELPHIA — Pennsylvania punk act The Menzingers are reportedly hard at work on a new song after seeing their close friend Josie Glynn smoke a…
WASHINGTON — The Surgeon General issued a grave warning to America’s youth today that vape pens and e-cigarettes are sadly nowhere near as cool as…
I am so unbelievably sorry. When I asked you not to smoke in my house, I clearly must have confused e-cigarettes with cigarettes. I apologize…
FALL CITY, Wash. — Local punk Todd McCloud took the annual purge, allowing humanity to succumb to its most criminal desires for a single day,…