Shawn Murray
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INTERSTATE 95 — 19 hours into a 12-hour shift and trailing closely behind a jam-packed minivan, big-rig operator “Big” Pat…
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TACOMA, Wash. — Local boyfriend Adam Leben refused to admit to any wrongdoing for his alleged horrible behavior in his…
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LEWISTON, Maine — Local hardcore kid Ernie Gibbs is reportedly such a serious hardcore fan that he goes to sleep…
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Bobby Korec
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SEATTLE — Depression and anxiety unexpectedly announced a co-headlining secret show last night at the prefrontal cortex venue inside the…
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Dan Kozuh
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BALTIMORE — Depressed researchers at Johns Hopkins University suggest a proper night’s sleep should last between 14 and 18 hours…
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Dan Kozuh
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BALTIMORE — Depressed researchers at Johns Hopkins University suggest a proper night’s sleep should last between 14 and 18 hours…
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Louie Aronowitz
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NEW YORK — Local man Adam Lefler is increasingly nervous to check his 194 notifications on Facebook this morning after…
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Ashley Naftule
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When I heard that doom metal gods Sleep were playing “Dopesmoker” in its entirety on an outdoor stage in Death…
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SAN FRANCISCO — Confused stoner Tyler Harrison participated in a sleep-study program believing the nocturnal testing session would actually be a…
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Mark Roebuck
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COLUMBUS, Ohio — “Woke dude” Pete McNamara lulled a once-thriving party into collective slumber after vocalizing his socially progressive opinions,…
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