KENOSHA, Wis. — The long-hunted serial murderer known only as The Kenosha Cannibal was pleasantly surprised he could still slip into the first suit he’d…
RAAHIL’S BODY — The fast-growing cystic acne chain on your friend Raahil’s face is launching franchise opportunities, with new pimples emerging on his upper back…
SEAGRAVES, Texas — Local machete-wielding family of murderous butchers, the Fletchers, are rallying against Hollywood’s constant belittling of their macabre lifestyle, terrified sources report. “Being…
Body mods have come a long way. Once a social oddity, it is now common to see piercings and tattoos on people in many walks…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local bouncer Frank DeGarge confirmed today that he is forced to cover up any non-tattooed parts of his body before clocking in…
DERRY, Maine — Local punk Liberty Van Zandt is running out of blank skin for commemorating her dead pets, and is expected to be fully…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local crust-punk Richard Andre married his roommate Morgan Atwell yesterday in a romantic ceremony in which he passed his contagious ringworm infection…
HAYDEN, Idaho — Local white supremacist Jeffrey Braun is struggling with being judged for his beliefs and actions over the color of his skin, Braun…
DENVER — The pit at famed punk venue The Safe Room was packed with teary-eyed loved ones and well-wishers on Thursday night, as the flayed…
LAS VEGAS — A tense scene unfolded at Bowl City USA last night, when longtime skinhead Jonathan “Jonny” Bell insisted on renting a pair of…
MIAMI — After a successful cosmetic skin removal surgery, Iggy Pop, the hard-rocking godfather of punk music, announced he plans to auction off large swaths of excess…
NEW YORK — U.S. President-elect Donald J. Trump held a press conference this morning to announce the manufacture of Trump Condoms, his latest namesake business…
NEW YORK CITY — Local stage potato “Big” Greg Hauff began to sprout last night during touring act HEADWALK’s headlining set, according to several witnesses in…
PEORIA, Ill. — Local skinhead Melinda “Rude Girl” Rodriguez was unwittingly conscripted into service at a nearby Target when she wore her favorite red Fred…