John Merrifield
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March 16, 2020
A fifty-two percent tax. I can’t get that figure out of my head. Fifty-two percent. That’s almost half my income.…
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Peter Woods
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March 15, 2020
WASHINGTON — Democratic Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders accidentally told former Vice President Joe Biden “nice set” after tonight’s democratic debate,…
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Zach Raffio
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March 10, 2020
Homeless people won’t be getting any pocket change from me. I’m not gonna give these people my hard-earned money just…
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Shea Strauss
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March 1, 2020
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — Mayor Pete Buttigieg held a press conference today to announce the end of his presidential campaign…
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Mark Bouchard
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January 10, 2020
These liberals get upset over every little thing, even sucking dick. Everyone knows that sex shouldn't be a safe space.…
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Patrick Crooks
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November 24, 2019
WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence was “disoriented” and “inconsolable” last night leaving a concert by metal band Lamb of…
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Patrick Coyne
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November 5, 2019
IRVINE,Calif. — Local punk Jenny Stoever is hoping against all hope that her father Ted Stoever’s ardent support of President…
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Ben Friedman
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August 29, 2019
NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Denizens of the underworld are welcoming significant infrastructure improvements over the next few weeks as…
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Jordan Breeding
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August 23, 2019
I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty positive guy. A bird craps in my eyes, I’m like, “At least…
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WASHINGTON — Special Counsel Robert Mueller released the full version of his first “Choose Your Own Conclusions” investigative report regarding…
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