Mark Bouchard
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January 10, 2020
These liberals get upset over every little thing, even sucking dick. Everyone knows that sex shouldn't be a safe space.…
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Patrick Crooks
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November 24, 2019
WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence was “disoriented” and “inconsolable” last night leaving a concert by metal band Lamb of…
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Patrick Coyne
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November 5, 2019
IRVINE,Calif. — Local punk Jenny Stoever is hoping against all hope that her father Ted Stoever’s ardent support of President…
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Ben Friedman
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August 29, 2019
NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Denizens of the underworld are welcoming significant infrastructure improvements over the next few weeks as…
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Jordan Breeding
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August 23, 2019
I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty positive guy. A bird craps in my eyes, I’m like, “At least…
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WASHINGTON — Special Counsel Robert Mueller released the full version of his first “Choose Your Own Conclusions” investigative report regarding…
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Eric Navarro
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November 5, 2018
This fucking guy. Our so called “president” (aka “45” because I refuse to even say Donald Trump’s name) is a…
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Rick Homuth
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January 31, 2018
VLADIVOSTOK, Russia — @DNCSorosTracker, one of the more successful Russian Twitter bots created to influence American elections, announced plans today…
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Goodrich Gevaart
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January 20, 2018
PHOENIX — Shock rocker Alice Cooper broke ground today on his new Republican-exclusive, goth-themed golf course, “Welcome to My Putt-mare,”…
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Taylor Roebuck
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December 1, 2017
My moral fiber and ethical egoism inform my political leanings. And normally I don’t like to give chicks positive attention,…
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