Jack Lewis
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ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local parents Joyce and Rich Gloppin have severely overestimated their 9th-grade daughter Dani’s social standing and ability…
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MISSOULA, Mont. — Uniformed Missoula Police officers David McClusky and Gerald Schmidt arrived 15 minutes before the opening act at…
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Jack Garrett
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MADISON, Wis. — Audience members watching nü-metal band Dizguzt last night slowly realized that frontman Colin Greene genuinely couldn’t hear…
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Dónal McBrien
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WICHITA, Kan. — Local student Adam Irving was stunned to learn that Brick Teeth frontman Kevin Gillion had awarded the…
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Zac Townsend
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TAMPA, Fla. — Local show-goer Tommy Gill was informed by irate staff at Fitzie’s Pub last night that the item…
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LONDON, England — A giant, nearly two-meter long baby was flown over London Square today, prompting confusion and outrage among…
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SEA RANCH, Calif. — A recent study confirmed that every single password created with online music company Bandcamp is comprised…
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Anya Volz
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DENVER — Local anomaly and known dirtbag David Gunther has perplexed a team of scientists with his disgust at the…
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Rick Homuth
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LEXINGTON, Ky. — Local tattoo artist Jory Belden has created a book of preconceived conversation topics for clients refer to…
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Aries (March 21 - April 19) Single Aries should be on the lookout for a new “special someone” in places…
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