John Danek
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TROY, Mich. — Floor Trends Magazine editors have chosen NOFX’s 1994 skate-punk anthem “Linoleum” as the magazine’s Song of the…
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Lauren Lavín
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VACAVILLE, Calif. — Local thrash band VomIts-Its officially canceled their summer tour yesterday after every member was forced to attend…
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Mark Roebuck
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TITTY CITY — Female Body Inspector Benjamin Travis Dover was fired this morning following several recent disciplinary incidents, forcing him…
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Ted Pillow
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SAVANNAH, Ga. — AFI superfan Kristen Gallows spent her entire paycheck last night on amulets yet again, bankrupting herself for…
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Patrick Coyne
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BOSTON — A legendary and possibly mythical mosher was allegedly spotted last night enjoying a four-course French meal in the…
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Lauren Lavín
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EL PASO, Texas — An agent with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement was indignant today after once again being compared…
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Patrick Coyne
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TUCKER, Ga. — Punk Ollie Boyer turned around a framed photo on his nightstand last night of punk rock icon…
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ORLANDO, Fla. — Local medical supply salesman Elliot Harrison’s recent haircut was immediately noticed this morning by coworkers with seemingly…
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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local hardcore kid Connor Razzo moshed very cautiously at a show last night to protect the record…
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Tom Peters
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TULSA, Okla. — Christian rapper Young Xannah admitted today that the only beef he refuses to “squash” is his ongoing…
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