Francis Beringer
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BALTIMORE — Self-proclaimed “scene king” Stephen Fernandez sent an event invite for an upcoming show to his recently deceased friend’s…
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John Danek
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CHICAGO — Legendary scene veteren Brent "Possum" Donello ended his punk phase with the ritual purchase of a queen-size Belgian…
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Heather Cook
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FLEMINGTON, NJ. — Local sociopath and deranged serial killer Parker Greene enthusiastically pulled 20 teeth out of the front pocket…
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Krissy Howard
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BISMARCK, N.D. — A group of local aging punks gathered outside of a show at The Railyard Tavern early yesterday…
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Ryan Lichten
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SEATTLE — Beloved Christmas icon Santa Claus announced today that he is starting a GoFundMe campaign after his sleigh was…
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V.F. Thompson
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BETHLEHEM, Judea — Three magi arrived at a venue last night for the Christ child shortly after his birth, along…
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Lauren Lavin
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LOS ANGELES — Everclear frontman Art Alexakis was “honestly not surprised” his father made no appearance at the family Christmas…
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Jonah Nink
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CHICAGO — Holiday icon and present delivery mogul Santa Claus admitted this morning that he snuck Bandcamp links to his…
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James Knapp
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NORTH POLE — Members of the organization Stop Treating Animals Badly [STAB] rescued eight reindeer yesterday that were allegedly being…
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The Hard Times Staff
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WHITMAN, Mass. — Small town police officer Patrick O’Brien is looking forward to reuniting with old friends and classmates while…
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