Krissy Howard
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DOG HEAVEN — Several dogs awaiting entry into the big, grassy field in the sky are being forced to wait…
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REVERE, Mass. — Misguided 43-year-old street punk Martin “Peanut” Landers announced today that he will be upping his cigarette intake…
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Bobby Korec
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LOS ANGELES — The winner of the “Best Alternative Music Album” at the 62nd Annual Grammy Awards was allegedly produced…
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Matthew Keplinger
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LOS ANGELES — The traditional office space callout of “Kobe” when shooting a wadded up ball of paper into a…
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Shea Strauss
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CLEVELAND — Local woman and total poser Brandi Herrera could not recall her moon sign yesterday when asked, despite her…
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ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local woman Connie Walters is fed up with all of her friends constantly asking for financial…
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Aidan Sears
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SEATTLE — Local dishwasher Freddie Young is frustrated by his inability to find an artist willing to tattoo Death Grips…
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Patrick Coyne
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COLUMBUS, Ohio — A fuzzy little punk roommate known only as “Banjo” twitched adorably in his sleep yesterday, presumably dreaming…
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Doug Francisco
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DANVERS, Wash. — A beloved biscuits and gravy recipe, made famous by the local Triple Five restaurant, is allegedly an…
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Patrick Crooks
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ATHENS, Ga. — Record store clerk Jimmy Taylor, well-liked by customers for his attentiveness, knowledge of music, and generally affable…
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