PASADENA, Calif. — Straight edge parents Mike and Joy Harmon were ecstatic to learn that their newborn daughter, MacKaye, was born with three X chromosomes,…
CHICAGO — A standoff is brewing between a local improv troupe and their audience, as Fancy Bananas have refused to begin their evening of comedy…
MONTREAL — Canadian post-rock collective Godspeed You! Black Emperor treated fans today to a special edition of their newest song title, releasing a 280-page hardcover…
HOBOKEN, N.J. — New Jersey-based band The Red Rainbows regularly claim to be from “the city” when touring outside of the Tri-state area, according to…
LOS ANGELES — Singer/guitarist John O’Neill is finally motivated to move to Los Angeles after being blacklisted from Seattle’s punk scene for predatory behavior toward…
DUBLIN — Kevin Shields, lead guitarist and frontman for shoegaze band My Bloody Valentine, is in stable but critical condition this morning after being trapped…
HOUSTON — Drummer Philip McNeill announced earlier today he plans to learn enough conversational Spanish to navigate his band’s entire upcoming Brazilian tour by himself,…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local punk show promoter Steve “Froggy” Fordham cancelled his teenage daughter’s birthday party this morning due to “pathetically low” advanced ticket sales,…
DALLAS — Huffing aficionado Garrett Brass tactfully broke down for uninitiated newcomers the complexities of a can of spray paint he found in his grandfather’s…
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — A recently summoned Death Cab was not intended for Cutie, but actually reserved for a customer named Mark, according to the…
It’s back-to-school season and kids everywhere can’t help but feel nervous: Will they make new friends this year? Finally talk to that hot girl or…
DALLAS — The FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team was condemned by civil liberties advocates today for their “needless use of force” in removing the many-membered music…
LOS ANGELES — Described by loved ones as “charismatic,” “fun,” “unpredictable,” and “always the life of the party,” Clark Tomlinson passed away last night at…
SHEBOYGAN, Ill. — The nation’s radical “alt-center” is aggressively going about their normal day today without interruptions, according to reports from HR departments around the…
WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos became the first woman to irreparably damage the infrastructure at Woodrow Wilson High School earlier today, shattering…