Punk Tag Archives - Page 422

My Dad Didn’t Die for Our Country Just for a Bunch of Liberals to Ruin It. He Died From Alcoholism

Ted Pillow • August 22, 2020

America is being destroyed by the liberal elite and it makes me absolutely sick. And it would’ve made my dad…

band recs, lonely, sad, text, message, music

Lonely Guy Won’t Stop Sending Unsolicited Band Recs

Patrick Crooks • August 22, 2020

CHICAGO — Local music aficionado Jeff Riley stands accused today of repeatedly sending unsolicited band recommendations to multiple irritated acquaintances,…

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NRA Member Rises Up Against Tyrannical Costco Employee

Mark Bouchard • August 21, 2020

MURRAY, Utah — Card-carrying member of both the NRA and Costco’s premium membership Greg Young was forced to leave the…

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Pop-Punk Frontman Worried His Girlfriend’s School Re-Opening Too Soon

Lana Schwartz • August 21, 2020

MASPETH, N.Y. — Skull Valley frontman Jeremy Cesiro is worried his underage girlfriend would be put in danger by her…

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Republicans Can’t Decide if Pineapple Belongs on Boots or Not

Ryan Danley • August 20, 2020

WASHINGTON — Republicans across the nation are reckoning with a party-wide fissure over whether pineapple is a suitable topping for…

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Mike Muir Removes Bandana to Reveal Horrific Exposed Brain

Dan Kozuh • August 20, 2020

VENICE, Calif. — Suicidal Tendencies frontman Mike Muir horrified visitors at the boardwalk yesterday when he took off his trademark…

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city, planning, money, defund, police, meeting, vote

City Excited to Use Funds From Defunded Police to Build New Highway Through Black Neighborhood

The Hard Times Staff • August 20, 2020

SEATTLE — City Council members announced plans today to use money diverted from the Seattle Police Department to fund a…

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poop, boyfriend, girlfriend, stomach, quarantine

Woman Quarantining with New Boyfriend Hasn’t Shit in 4 Months

Patrick Coyne • August 19, 2020

PORTLAND, Maine. — Local woman Dani Pineda has desperately hidden her humanity from her live-in boyfriend Aaron Adams by not…

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joan jett, relationship, rock'n'roll, complicated, facebook, status

Joan Jett Changes Relationship Status with Rock ‘N’ Roll to “It’s Complicated”

Henrik Persson • August 19, 2020

LONG BEACH, N.Y. — Veteran rocker Joan Jett is reportedly no longer in a committed, monogamous relationship with her longtime…

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texas, mask, gun, functioning, covid-19, shoot

New Texas Law Requires Each Citizen to Wear Face Mask That Is Also Fully Functioning Gun

The Hard Times Staff • August 19, 2020

AUSTIN, Texas — Gov. Greg Abbott signed a new, statewide law today that would mandate each Texan to do their…

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