Tom Peters
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WASHINGTON — President Trump expressed disappointment early Friday morning at being all caught up on his favorite TV shows following…
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Patrick Coyne
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LONDON — The British-born glam rock guitarist who goes by the name “Scazz Slaughter” has almost definitely got “some dumbass…
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Theo Konstantino
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LOS ANGELES — Bored police officer Brady Sullivan decided to beat peaceful protesters advocating for racial justice yesterday while only…
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Andrew Murphy
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SAN JOSE, Calif. — Executives at Neversoft, the developer behind the newly released “Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2,” announced today…
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Erin McLaughlin
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HYANNIS, Mass. — Local man Kenny Gomez was outed as a “fucking liar” on Tuesday evening upon telling a pharmacy…
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Kevin Tit
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LINCOLN, Neb. — Local Black police officer Dante Jackson was rendered unrecognizable to his coworkers within seconds of removing his…
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Ted Pillow
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EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — Everyone attending last night’s Twenty One Pilots drive-in concert at Metlife Stadium kept their seatbelt on…
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Clara Endres
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CLEVELAND — Moderators for 2020’s first Presidential debate reportedly added a question regarding an issue that’s been hotly contested since…
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Patrick Coyne
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COSTA MESA, Calif. — Slightly tipsy local mom Candace Webber keeps dropping not-so-subtle hints that she fucked The Offspring singer…
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Louie Aronowitz
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ATLANTA — A team of male researchers reportedly discovered the cure for COVID-19 yesterday, mere seconds after a correlation between…
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