Bobby Korec
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Lifelong Democrat Hunter Matthew Sullivanor asked a ballot station attendee today if they had any larger “I…
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Bobby Korec
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CONSHOHOCKEN, Pa. — Local black metal band Nocturnal Defacement announced their public support yesterday for the “greater of two evils”…
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Stephen Bell
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UNITED STATES OF AMERICA — The coronavirus, the cause of a worldwide pandemic that has killed over one million people…
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Bobby Korec
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CHICAGO — Historically undecided voter Gunther Wexler waited eight grueling hours yesterday to cast a “protest” vote for Harambe, the…
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Kevin Tit
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NEW YORK — A visibly desperate and agitated President Donald Trump loaded his IMI Desert Eagle handgun today and travelled…
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Kyle Sekaquaptewa
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LANSING, Mich. — Far-right protesters who descended on the Michigan Capitol today arrived several hours later than scheduled, due to…
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James Knapp
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WEST LAWN, Penn. — A violent altercation in an IHOP parking lot yesterday between members of doom-metal band Savage Agnes…
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Patrick Coyne
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ATLANTA — Quasi-political punk Aaron Scovell convinced himself yesterday that, if he had a job and was registered, his theoretical…
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Ted Pillow
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WASHINGTON — A panicked President Trump is debating whether releasing his infamous “pee tape” would help or hurt his chances…
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Billy Patterson
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MOULTRIE, Ga. — Local Black man Darius Phillips received an “I Tried to Vote” sticker after waiting in line for…
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