Andrew Murphy
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October 1, 2020
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Executives at Neversoft, the developer behind the newly released “Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2,” announced today…
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Erin McLaughlin
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September 30, 2020
HYANNIS, Mass. — Local man Kenny Gomez was outed as a “fucking liar” on Tuesday evening upon telling a pharmacy…
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Kevin Tit
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September 30, 2020
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local Black police officer Dante Jackson was rendered unrecognizable to his coworkers within seconds of removing his…
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Ted Pillow
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September 30, 2020
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — Everyone attending last night’s Twenty One Pilots drive-in concert at Metlife Stadium kept their seatbelt on…
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Clara Endres
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September 29, 2020
CLEVELAND — Moderators for 2020’s first Presidential debate reportedly added a question regarding an issue that’s been hotly contested since…
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Patrick Coyne
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September 29, 2020
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Slightly tipsy local mom Candace Webber keeps dropping not-so-subtle hints that she fucked The Offspring singer…
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Louie Aronowitz
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September 28, 2020
ATLANTA — A team of male researchers reportedly discovered the cure for COVID-19 yesterday, mere seconds after a correlation between…
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John Danek
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September 28, 2020
HARRISBURG, Pa. — Those invited to celebrate the marriage of punk drummer Scotty Corless and slaughterhouse foreman Anna “Slander” Dietrich…
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Patrick Crooks
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September 27, 2020
ATLANTA — College friends Aisha Brooks and Jason Haley promised to get together soon yet again today, just as they…
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Michael Luis
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September 27, 2020
CLEVELAND — Engorged Pustule singer Alec Matthewson, recently diagnosed with a debilitating, deadly illness known as spinocerebellar ataxia, realized today…
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