FREDERICK, Md. — 48-year-old insurrectionist Mark Fleming is still struggling to understand how nobody noticed that he kidnapped Tiffany Trump…
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John Dixon
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DALLAS — Local band Black Hole Generator finally admitted yesterday that their legendarily enigmatic bassist Eric Coughlin was actually just…
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VANCOUVER, Wash. — Local neo-fascist Greg Pough retired as an active member of the Proud Boys today following a three-second…
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Nick Ortolani
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NEW YORK — Leading economists warned today that raising the minimum wage to $15 will severely impede the ability of…
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Collin Canning
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HUNTINGTON, N.Y — Part-time barista and avid Marilyn Manson fan, Scuff Leeway underwent an invasive spine removal surgery in an…
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James Knapp
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DENVER — Newly single man Chris Fangerburg held a moment of silence for his former relationship today, lowering the toilet…
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Ted Pillow
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CHICAGO — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan finally noticed yesterday that “minimum wage” rhymes with “rat in a cage,” according…
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Julia Zhen
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BALTIMORE — Local Zoom show attendee Bryant Nelson sent fellow showgoer Sage Mykels unwanted messages in the chat of Wood…
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Kevin Tit
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BILOXI, Miss. — Local fast food chain CEO Shannon Smith reluctantly agreed to pay his employees $15 an hour last…
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Ted Pillow
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WASHINGTON — Newly-inaugurated President Joe Biden is extremely concerned that “The Netflix” won’t know to send his rental DVDs to…
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