Jack Bravstein
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WASHINGTON — God’s only begotten son Jesus Christ is actively distancing himself and his constituents from Republicans across the globe…
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Jus Kaplan
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BURLINGTON, Vt. — Festive plant-based parent Taryn Jacobs delighted her three children on Easter Sunday by hiding bottles of JUST…
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Patrick Coyne
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ANTHEMOESSA — Shipwrecks across the world dropped after mythological Sirens that normally lure sailors to certain death with their beautiful…
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John Dixon
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LOS ANGELES — Nike announced today they will be suing Lil Nas X and art collective MSCHF for saying their…
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Alice Lahoda
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LOS ANGELES — Local band Effigy at the Madhouse Tabernacle were spotted manning their merch table outside one of Dodger…
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Ted Pillow
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In a landmark victory for noncorporeal cannabis reform, the Ghostbusters announced via their tax lawyer Louis Tulley that they are…
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Kevin Tit
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WHEATON, Md. — The local branch of the BodySmith Fitness franchise is refusing to terminate your gym membership until you…
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SEATTLE — Real estate giant Zillow announced a new “punk” setting today for users that will allow potential home buyers…
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Nathan Kamal
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ATLANTA — Local man Chris Mitchell reportedly is only willing to vote for a candidate who will immediately restrict, hinder…
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Michael Luis
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KINGSTON FALLS, N.Y. — An ominous record store employee reportedly warned customers yesterday that the new Mogwai album should not…
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