On our way to complete an interview for a deadline that passed a couple weeks ago, Johnny 5-0 decided to do their duty as fascist…
WASHINGTON — President Biden urged American citizens to peacefully allow law enforcement to continue murdering them following a spike in shootings of unarmed Black people…
My neighbor has a lawn gnome whose shadow lands on my property. Needless to say, I’ve been researching hitmen on the dark web for the…
CHICAGO — The embattled President of Fraternal Order of Police Lodge 7, John Cattanzara, sought to negotiate for police officers to receive 45 more murders…
DELRAY BEACH, Fla. — Stoned-out-of-his-gourd movie director and podcaster Kevin Smith is still answering the first question of a Q and A nearly four hours…
MIAMI — Local police officer Arnold Griffin, a 19-year veteran of the force, was cut down in the line of duty during his lunch break…
LOS ANGELES — Former precocious one-year-old and current convicted felon on parole Tommy Pickles, now 31, allegedly muttered to himself “a baby’s gotta do what…
MINNEAPOLIS — Former police officer and now-convicted murderer, Derek Chauvin, is reportedly upset that the most sacred day on his calendar, Hitler’s birthday, is tarnished…
MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Local law enforcement veteran Sergeant David Maddison drew praise from fellow officers for deftly concealing his identity to evade community criticism and…
NEW YORK ⏤ Recently debuted African American muppet Elijah Walker was fatally shot by Sesame Street police after officers mistakenly identified the number seven being…
PRESCOTT, Ariz. — FBI Agent Dan Trolley defused a tense standoff with local police over the jurisdiction of a crime scene with a well-timed racist…
LOS ANGELES — An alleged serial killer and millennial is taunting LAPD and terrorizing the city through a series of deranged, emoji-laden letters, angry and…
LOS ANGELES — Self-proclaimed activist Jane Lipton is in hot water with her community today after calling the cops on an unhoused neighbor for their…
You bring the stuff? Sweet. These are authentic JNCO jeans, right? The ones from the late ’90s?I don’t want none of this watered-down, kinda-baggy-leg bullshit.…
WASHINGTON — A touching tale unfolded this afternoon during the “Stop The Steal” rally as a local police officer and a MAGA supporter united after…