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5 John Milton Quotes To Write in Blood on the Wall To Let the Police Know You’re Smarter Than Them

So you’ve killed someone. It’s not an ideal spot to be in but hey, it happens. You’re first reaction is likely going to be to panic and try hiding the body, murder weapon and other evidence of the gruesome crime you’ve committed. You’re gonna want to go ahead and swallow that deep down. It’s time to act like you’ve been there.

Hiding the body is a sign of weakness. As soon as the cops find it (and they always do) they know exactly what to do. Your best move is to get ahead of this thing and present the body in a cryptic tableau.

One look at any of the following quotes from Milton’s “Paradise Lost” written on the wall in your victim’s blood will let Law enforcement know you’re 10 moves ahead of them, and that following you down the rabbit hole will serve only to drive them as insane as you are.

“Our torments also may in length of time
Become our Elements.”

This right here is the exact kind of shit that makes cocky rookies quip stuff like “Looks like we got a full-fledged psycho on our hands” and their experienced genius-level partner’s to be all like “One thing’s for sure, this isn’t his first kill. And it won’t be the last.”

“And feel thy sovran vital Lamp; but thou Revisit’st not these eyes, that rowle in vain To find thy piercing ray, and find no dawn; So”

Translation: John Doe has the upper hand mother fuckers. Little do the investigators realize you booked it to Mexico faster than they could say “Maybe he’s killing on a lunar cycle!”

“With ruin upon ruin, rout on rout, Confusion worse confounded; and Heav’n Gates Pourd out by millions her victorious Bands Pursuing. I upon my Frontieres here Keep”

“What is he trying to tell us” ponders the top level criminal profiler oblivious to the fact that this killing was the end result of an argument about The Mandalorian that got way out of hand. Have fun at the library dumbass!

“Earth felt the wound,
and Nature from her seat
Sighing through all her Works
gave signs of woe,
That all was lost.”

Now they’re pouring over medieval Christian texts AND the Una-bomber manifesto, you’re in the clear!

“And evil turn to good; more wonderful
Than that which by creation first brought forth
Light out of darkness! Full of doubt I stand,
Whether I should repent me now of sin
By me done, and occasioned; or rejoice
Much more, that much more good thereof shall spring;
To God more glory, more good-will to men
From God, and over wrath grace shall abound.”

This is some top-notch grade-A crazy that will confound your would-be pursuers into conceding that all they can do is sit and wait for your next move. This is the most effective quote on this list in terms of painting a portrait of yourself as a deranged and untouchable mastermind, but keep in mind it is a bit long and you may need to kill more people to get it all down.