GAZA CITY, Palestine — Israeli Defense Force First Sergeant Yosef Shochet admitted that he is suffering from terrible nightmares portraying happy, active children playing in…
If there’s one thing that drives me crazy it’s when I see other adults break out the tired “kids these days” complaint for being lazy…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — New Jersey-based punk, and massive acid enthusiast, Lionel “Tabby” Winnet is reportedly “confused but going with it” upon finding himself at bat…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local drummer Brendan Molina cannot believe how unbelievably rude his neighbors are being by constantly pounding on the walls of their shared…
MALIBU,Calif. — Folk music legend Bob Dylan was recently rushed to a local Doctor’s office because of a strange, almost train whistle-like sound emitting from…
CINCINNATI — Red Hot Chili Peppers tribute band, Los Jalapenos, vow to press on with their tri-state tour despite low attendance, scathing reviews, and looming…
TULSA, Okla. — Local venue owner Michelle Kirk reportedly doubled her gross income by installing a new booth that sells photos of audience members actively…
MESA, Ariz. — Over-indulgent guitarist Marky Pritchard was careful to make sure none of his roommates were home before he churned out some truly masturbatory…
PHOENIX — Aging members of local metal band Toxins in the Bloodstream are deep in a spiraling debate about whether they should go all-in with…
ROSWELL, Ga. — Local high school theater teacher and known eccentric, Jean St. John, is highly doubtful about pulling off the musical ‘Brigadoon’ for this…
LONDON — Cartoon bassist for the virtual indie rock group Gorillaz, Murdoc Niccals, died of a cartoon heroin overdose Wednesday, a cartoon doctor wearing a…
WALNUT CREEK, Calif. — Every single member of the local band Starving Hysterical were seriously considering going back to school to earn Masters degrees at…
COVINGTON, Ky. — Neophyte bassist Braxton Reynolds came to the startling realization last week that his metronome apparently jumps wildly in tempo while he practices,…
DENVER — Julian Rodriguez, guitarist of Black Sabbath tribute act Supernauts, fought back tears this morning as he purchased a Ryobi circular saw with his…
LOS ANGELES — Drum Chum, the “world’s most lifelike” drum machine, can fully simulate the experience of a real drummer by impulsively tapping on the…