LONDON — Bedroom post-punk musician Rob Davidson begged listeners to use headphones while listening to his latest EP, apparently unaware that he would be fortunate…
ATLANTA — Local panhandler Bobby Moore’s attempt to garner spare change from Tesla driver Jermaine Hoffman has come to a standstill while waiting for a…
Building trust in a relationship takes time. But I work 60 hours a week and time is money, which is why I’ve decided that going…
SAN FRANCISCO — After liking, sharing, and commenting on his posts, it looks like your “new friend” from last week’s virtual open mic Chris Hardny…
NEW YORK — Self-described “cinema aficionado” Kevin Clifford has spent the past several months becoming fluent in Japanese in order to “watch” Kurosawa movies while…
LOS ANGELES — The hit animated sitcom “Family Guy” is celebrating 20 seasons this year as America’s top choice for something to have on in…
BALTIMORE — An obviously broken phone that you for some reason refuse to replace reportedly does still work, assuming you don’t need to use it…
SARASOTA, Fla. — Straining his eyes while scrolling through the report to make sure he was understanding things right, distraught man and technology addict Antonio…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook astonished Silicon Valley with a promise to disregard customers’ high expectations at this week’s iPhone press event. “Every…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Citing production issues due to the coronavirus pandemic, Cisco Systems has delayed the long-awaited sequel to their popular Charcoal Gray Unified…
NEW YORK — Members of a local group chat insisted that they wouldn’t be going anywhere near that comment, preferring to let things die down…
WARRENTON, Mo. — In a revelation that made him question his instincts, local gamer Kevin Lanigan recently realized that the shitty mobile game ad he…
SAN FRANCISCO — Digital rights experts warned that Americans using a hot new phone app to make themselves resemble a popular computer generated ogre may…
ANDALUSIA, Pa. — A group of preteen boys playing in the woods yesterday were “totally meh” after stumbling upon a first-generation, unlocked iPhone chock full…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local marketing associate and Black person Imani Phillips found yesterday that her iPhone X’s storage is almost entirely full of overly supportive…