DURHAM, N.C. — Local drug hookup Benjamin Wertner is reportedly only known to clients by his first name and one of the assortments of narcotics…
Are we looking at the next “Into the Wild?” San Diego woman, Courtney Woodridge, has felt a strong connection to Chris McCandless since first watching…
LONDON — Bedroom post-punk musician Rob Davidson begged listeners to use headphones while listening to his latest EP, apparently unaware that he would be fortunate…
ATLANTA — Local panhandler Bobby Moore’s attempt to garner spare change from Tesla driver Jermaine Hoffman has come to a standstill while waiting for a…
Building trust in a relationship takes time. But I work 60 hours a week and time is money, which is why I’ve decided that going…
SAN FRANCISCO — After liking, sharing, and commenting on his posts, it looks like your “new friend” from last week’s virtual open mic Chris Hardny…
NEW YORK — Self-described “cinema aficionado” Kevin Clifford has spent the past several months becoming fluent in Japanese in order to “watch” Kurosawa movies while…
LOS ANGELES — The hit animated sitcom “Family Guy” is celebrating 20 seasons this year as America’s top choice for something to have on in…
BALTIMORE — An obviously broken phone that you for some reason refuse to replace reportedly does still work, assuming you don’t need to use it…
SARASOTA, Fla. — Straining his eyes while scrolling through the report to make sure he was understanding things right, distraught man and technology addict Antonio…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook astonished Silicon Valley with a promise to disregard customers’ high expectations at this week’s iPhone press event. “Every…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Citing production issues due to the coronavirus pandemic, Cisco Systems has delayed the long-awaited sequel to their popular Charcoal Gray Unified…
NEW YORK — Members of a local group chat insisted that they wouldn’t be going anywhere near that comment, preferring to let things die down…
WARRENTON, Mo. — In a revelation that made him question his instincts, local gamer Kevin Lanigan recently realized that the shitty mobile game ad he…
SAN FRANCISCO — Digital rights experts warned that Americans using a hot new phone app to make themselves resemble a popular computer generated ogre may…