WASHINGTON. — Local 32-year-old Seth Kepling informed friends Friday night that his iPhone 13, which is covered by an AppleCare plan, actually has better insurance…
You don’t need a degree in clinical psychology to diagnose someone. How do I know this? I’ve been diagnosing my friends, family members, and potential…
BOSTON – Researchers at Harvard University studying the negative effects of phone usage before bed concluded that nothing fucking matters and you should do whatever…
I recently decided I needed to prioritize my mental health. I took a look at my life and realized it’s not a good time for…
PORTLAND—Local man and self-confessed “introverted-ass” Will Dobbs is pleading for a real-life equivalent to the popular text and Instagram “like message” feature, chronically online sources…
For most self-described introverts, a night on the town is something that’s generally avoided. But local introvert Alex Lorenz has been breaking out of his…
It’s never okay to go through your partner’s phone unless you have concrete evidence of infidelity, like seeing he randomly started streaming “The O.C.” or…
Welcome to my worst nightmare: I’m at a bar far from home, my phone only has 3% charge left, and now I have to ask…
LOS ANGELES — Netflix horror “Under the Floorboards” features a fully accurate depiction of Verizon’s industry-leading cell service, totally undercutting any suspense the film may…
Being an adult is tough. There are taxes and oil changes, eventually, you’d do anything for a moment of peace and quiet. Even when I’m…
DURHAM, N.C. — Local drug hookup Benjamin Wertner is reportedly only known to clients by his first name and one of the assortments of narcotics…
Are we looking at the next “Into the Wild?” San Diego woman, Courtney Woodridge, has felt a strong connection to Chris McCandless since first watching…
LONDON — Bedroom post-punk musician Rob Davidson begged listeners to use headphones while listening to his latest EP, apparently unaware that he would be fortunate…
ATLANTA — Local panhandler Bobby Moore’s attempt to garner spare change from Tesla driver Jermaine Hoffman has come to a standstill while waiting for a…
Building trust in a relationship takes time. But I work 60 hours a week and time is money, which is why I’ve decided that going…