FALLS CHURCH, Va. — 36-year-old Michael Connelly’s sarcastic response moments ago to a demand from his parents effectively eliminated the possibility of receiving any inheritance…
HAGERSTOWN, Md. — After months of working from home, local parents Ron and Melinda Zimmerman came to the stunning realization yesterday that their teenage son…
TRENTON, N.J. — Claiming their child hasn’t been the same since he started gaming, concerned parents Mark and Liza Kristensen are blaming poorly-made, badly-reviewed video…
NEW YORK — OneStar Bank CEO Finnegan Bostwick claimed today that if the U.S. Congress doesn’t pass a separate bailout including $40 billion for his…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk Eddy “Rotgut” Lewiston made a panicked phone call to his parents to make sure his vast fortune was not affected…
Here at The Hard Times we’ve got deadlines to meet and sometimes those deadlines sneak up on you a bit. So every now and then…
CONCORD, Calif. — Local punk couple James Paulson and Maria Overholt admitted last night in front of friends and family that although they are proud…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — After waiting through three years of divorce, local brothers Jimmy and Kiernan Henderson received a surprise announcement from Dad about Mom…
JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. — Local punks and new parents Desi Stark and Darion Foster look forward to using their newborn baby Shea as the perfect…
The word “boomer” contains decades–nay, millennia–of pain, hatred, and abuse. Millennials toss it around flippantly, making it the punchline of hurtful, problematic jokes. In an…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Civil engineer Daniel Barley obtained sole custody of ex-girlfriend Alicia Kressen’s parents yesterday during the dissolution of their relationship, completing a landmark…
We all know self-absorbed people. These one-sided relationships wear us down and deplete our resources. It is a person’s actions, not age, that should determine…
IRVINE, Calif. — Virtually every single punk attending the Bucket of Dog Shit record release show today is terrified everyone else will find out about…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Married couple Dave and Sarah Dyer allegedly conceived and birthed a newborn child on purpose within the last year, subsequently horrifying…
VISTA, Calif. — Divorced parents Margaret Clark and Pete Doyle put aside years of mutual acrimony last night, reconnecting over their hated of daughter Kelsey’s…