MARQUETTE, Mich. — Local resident Jessica Stabley recently watched 85 episodes of a television series she doesn’t even like, purely due to quarantine-induced boredom, sources…
Lately, it feels like all my friends and family judge me for dating in quarantine. They take it as a sign that I’m not treating…
In these unchill times, bros worldwide have been leaning on their dudes extra hard to make sense of shit. Between mask mandates, flavored Juul pod…
Let’s face it, regular spreader events do not make front page news anymore. Those dum-dum journalists are just not interested in reporting “The Queen’s Gambit”…
DENVER — Local woman Stephanie Robbins admitted today she now wishes she hadn’t already used the “deadly pandemic” excuse to get out of last year’s…
ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have confirmed that the COVID-19 virus is gearing up for yet another Double-XP Weekend,…
As Thanksgiving approaches, and COVID-19 rates get progressively worse, many of my friends are shocked that I still plan on visiting my family for what…
Look I know this pandemic has been hard, I know I’m not alone in the constant anxiety, paranoia, and despair that the COVID-19 Pandemic has…
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA — The coronavirus, the cause of a worldwide pandemic that has killed over one million people thus far, endorsed President Trump…
It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that I was forced to close my beloved indie movie theater. I’ve done all I…
LOS ANGELES — Local record store Forever Records is offering a new home delivery service, in which a crate of personally selected vinyl is sent…
LEXINGTON, S.C. — Forest Hills Middle School sixth grader Brynn Ruark effortlessly secured the title of “coolest kid in school” yesterday after showing up to…
AUSTIN, Texas — Gov. Greg Abbott signed a new, statewide law today that would mandate each Texan to do their part to stop the spread…
It’s really tough to look at the state of the world today and see anything positive in it. With the COVID-19 pandemic showing no sign…
Every moment of this waking nightmare that calendars call “2020” has been full of hair-pulling, heart-wrenching, tooth-gritting despair. My friend told me her therapist suggested…