Natalie Vinh
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Social distancing regulations got you down? Losing your sense of identity without the ability to get drunk in a stranger's…
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Courtney Baka
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DENVER — Local woman Caitlin Baker recently celebrated her fully vaccinated status by dropping her dating standards to an all-time…
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Krissy Howard
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BOISE, Idaho — Local woman and lifelong punk Charlotte Birdsong came to the relieving conclusion that she does not miss…
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In America, police officers kill about 1,100 citizens per year — roughly 30 times that of the next leading nation.…
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Nathan Kamal
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SEATTLE — A coalition of ‘90s doctors announced this morning that fully vaccinated individuals are safe to peruse each other’s…
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BOTHELL, Wash. — Audio equipment giant Behringer excited consumers by releasing a new line of electric drum sets that comes…
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QUINCY, Mass. — Local man and self-described introvert Blake Crowley became an adamant anti-vaccine activist in a desperate attempt to…
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Jovian Gautama
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HOBOKEN, N.J. — Local nonbeliever and Bon Jovi fan Tami Clarkson has been mentally cruising through unemployment solely by the…
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James Knapp
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So we ran into the guy from Smash Mouth on our lunch break while in line at Shake Shack. No…
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LOS ANGELES — Acoustic guitarist Harry “Wild Child” Kearns caused a mass evacuation from a local vaccine site with his…
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