LAFAYETTE, La. — Local guitarist and misanthrope Jeremy Waggoner joined his friend’s band Punted Child earlier this month to avoid any possibility of ever receiving…
LONG BEACH, Calif. — A controversial report released by The Center for Technology today concluded that “probably like 90%” of all individual music collections are…
LOS ANGELES — The winner of the “Best Alternative Music Album” at the 62nd Annual Grammy Awards was allegedly produced by acclaimed independent entertainment company…
ATHENS, Ga. — Record store clerk Jimmy Taylor, well-liked by customers for his attentiveness, knowledge of music, and generally affable nature, was fired yesterday by…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Local man Garret Bergeron asked a Bizarro Records store clerk yesterday if she validated opinions before he purchased a stack of new…
BOSTON — Researchers at Berklee College of Music confirmed today that the opening riff of local punk band Milkmouth’s song “Squirrel Scream” should really have…
HAMILTON, Ontario — Neil Peart’s elaborate drum kit is set to be divided up and donated to schools across Canada in order to provide every…
BOISE, Idaho — Ambitious music school graduate Fritz Stokowski took to the streets with flyers yesterday, advertising auditions for a new, drama-free symphony orchestra, bemused…
URBANA, Ill. — The album “The Fire Between Us Is Quelled And It Is What It Is” by emo band Ripcord Falls reportedly made local…
KINGS PARK, N.Y. — Local punk Joe Ricchio finally bonded with his fanatical sports fan father last week, thanks to the multiple self-inflicted head injuries…
Hey guy, take a fucking hint! The lady doesn’t wanna talk to you. I don’t care what she’s wearing. That doesn’t give you an excuse…
MEDFORD, N.Y. — Mathcore band A Murder Among Friends observed the biannual Daylight Saving Time rule today by reluctantly setting the time signatures back on…
I hate to be one of “those guys,” but I’m starting to notice that music nowadays sucks. I can’t quite put my finger on it…
MARION, Ill. — Local man Billy Harrison amended his Instagram username yesterday from “billyharrison” to “billyharrisonmusic” immediately after purchasing a nylon-string acoustic guitar from Target,…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Classically trained multi-instrumentalist and road-weary touring musician Joanna Newsom is hoping one of the openers for her show tonight has a Prince…