SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Laid-off sound engineer Logan Green is constantly adjusting the volume levels of his television in order to keep busy while waiting…
SYDNEY — A group of casual Mario fans annoyed fellow concertgoers at an orchestral show celebrating the franchise’s history, as the rowdy group reportedly talked…
PLAINVIEW, N.Y. — 16-year-old Misty Lebowitz carelessly endangered her much, much older and immunocompromised pop-punk singer boyfriend Scotty McDickers yesterday when she defied New York’s…
Thousands of gamers across the world are providing testimonials accusing Sonic The Hedgehog water levels of giving them lifelong anxiety in a landmark civil suit…
CARSON, Calif. — Tampa Bay Vipers stand-out kicker Andrew Franks outraged fans and pundits last week after refusing to stand for Stone Cold Steve Austin’s…
BEL AIR, Md. — A Tinder date between “Bloody” Mary Wolski and certifiable poser Jared VanAuden ended abruptly moments ago thanks to VanAuden’s errant claim…
ATLANTA — Emergency Medical Technician Avery Jamison searched through his Spotify playlist for several minutes yesterday before administering chest compressions to a civilian going through…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local rapist Kent Mehring once again avoided any consequences for his repeated sexual assaults last week, despite his total lack of musical…
CHICAGO — 28-year-old aging punk Johnny “Ratfuck” Pitzki has entered the “I don’t even really listen to punk anymore” phase of his life, complete with…
SAN DIEGO — Members of chillwave band Hookah Sesh are engaged in a heated internal struggle to establish the beta of the group, according to…
LAFAYETTE, La. — Local guitarist and misanthrope Jeremy Waggoner joined his friend’s band Punted Child earlier this month to avoid any possibility of ever receiving…
LONG BEACH, Calif. — A controversial report released by The Center for Technology today concluded that “probably like 90%” of all individual music collections are…
LOS ANGELES — The winner of the “Best Alternative Music Album” at the 62nd Annual Grammy Awards was allegedly produced by acclaimed independent entertainment company…
ATHENS, Ga. — Record store clerk Jimmy Taylor, well-liked by customers for his attentiveness, knowledge of music, and generally affable nature, was fired yesterday by…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Local man Garret Bergeron asked a Bizarro Records store clerk yesterday if she validated opinions before he purchased a stack of new…