You know me so well. You know I love ambient, fuzzy surf rock and you know I love when zoomers add 808s and rap over it. You also know I love bonding over music. It’s what our entire friendship is based on. But you also know that I’m a complete narcissist when it comes to my music taste and that I will never, ever enjoy a band unless I found them first. So why the hell would you show me your favorite band—an ambient, fuzzy surf rap-rock group with 808s—if you didn’t want me to absolutely fucking hate them, and you, forever?
What were you thinking? Why in the hell would you think it was a good idea to introduce me to your favorite band, especially when you know damn well I would have stumbled across them at some point anyway. If that had been how I discovered them, I might have a new favorite band!
Plus, then I would have gotten to show them to you in the form of a carefully curated playlist that you would have loved. But you took that away from me. Frum us. Hell, I might have even surprised you with tickets to their show that you could reimburse me for later. But you ruined all of that! You ruiner.
This could have been the catalyst that launched our friendship to a whole other level. We might have even hung out outside of work for once. But you blew it because you carelessly ignored a key tenet of our friendship: my need to control it.
So next time you discover something that fits my taste in entertainment perfectly, keep it to your fucking self. And while we’re at it, if I show you something I like, even if you know about it, just say you don’t. It’s not worth risking what I consider to be my most valued friendship. So anyway, you ever seen Fight Club?